Guest Paper

 When I was born, we lived on the East side of Manhatten in the top-floor apartment of a brownstone. The landlords were Mr. and Mrs. Hyman, an older couple with who my newlywed parents had a good relationship. We eventually moved out and had a house in the suburbs and I had several siblings. I remember one Sunday we packed up the car and went down to Manhatten to visit the Hymens. As a youngster of about five, it was pretty uneventful. I knew the routine for visiting adults: don't touch anything without permission, don't argue with your sister, be polite, and so on. At some point, I had to go to the bathroom and after getting permission, I went in. It was a typical old people's bathroom with a cover on the toilet and just cluttered enough that you knew it was used regularly. I noticed that on top of the toilet there was a roll of toilet paper that was noticeable thin and scratchy. Scratchier than I had ever seen in my short life. On the toilet paper holder was a nice soft roll of two-ply quality paper. For some reason that really set my mind spinning. Why would anyone buy such scratchy paper? why not use the nice stuff all the time? will they use up that roll of good paper after we leave or put it away someplace until the next time they have guests? Do they actually like scratchy paper? I certainly was too shy to ask Mrs. Hymen directly and I never did talk to my Mom and Dad about it.

I started thinking about this incident when I dug out a roll of not-so-nice toilet paper that I bought in the Spring of 2020 when there were not many choices. As I wish that I had not bought such a large package of this thin, not-soft paper I remember the Hymens.  They were definitely of an age to have been affected by World War II, I do not know if they were in the US or Europe at that time and I also do not know if they had friends or relatives who were in battle or in concentration camps. Were they in the habit of being frugal, even with toilet paper, or did they feel bad about small everyday luxuries? Did they switch the rolls to honor their guests, or did they think that these young people could not handle austerity?

At this late date, I cannot ask anyone for more details, but I can ponder. How attached am I to small, and not-so-small creature comforts? Am I grateful for all these first-world comforts? Do I ever think about those who live much simpler lives, either by choice or necessity?  

So I guess I have learned to not put the single-ply toilet paper in the guest bathroom. But also, put out the better, matching dishes, open the new box of crackers, use that better bottle of wine, celebrate that I have friends and family that come over to spend time with me. Also, remember those who don't have the option of better toilet paper.

At Least I Am Not in the Belly of a Whale.

 My very religious, very Evangelistic neighbor has been telling me lately that she is excited about all the mayhem going on in the U.S. because it is making so many people turn towards God and pray. It is an unusual take on how to handle what you do not like about what is going on around you. She is seriously rejoicing in things being bad. This got me thinking about what should I be doing as far as praying and acting to improve things I know are not good and not God's will.

The Old Testament readings at Sunday mass the past couple of weeks mention Samuel and Jonah. Both were called by God, both had some trouble at first, but then eventually did listen and follow God's will. What does that mean to us living in 2021? Are we listening to God? How is he calling us? I don't think many of us are woken up in the middle of the night by the voice of God. Neither are we told specifically where to go and what to do like Jonah was, nor are we likely to be swallowed by a giant whale if we do not act on what God is asking of us, but we need to be alert to listen to what God is calling us to do and be. 

How do we know what God wants of us? Listening at church and following our Church traditions teaches us to pray and ask for what we need. But how do we know if God wants more than prayer? Somebody needs to do the action. How alert are we to the quiet voice in our heart that leads us to a particular action whether it be working at a food pantry, praying in front of an abortion clinic, spending some extra time on the phone with a friend or neighbor who needs your companionship, writing to elected officials, running for office,  peaceful protests, going on a mission, fasting for an intention, or even something more life-changing? Many of us have already set the path for our major vocation, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be constantly listening for God who might show us what he wants by having a job layoff and then a very different opportunity arises, a nagging feeling that you need to be doing something for a particular group or cause, obstacles that get in the way of what you want to do that make you have second thoughts. 

Looking back, I can see some times in my life where God led me to be somewhere or do something. After losing a teaching job due to the school closing, I stumbled into a job working in a shelter for homeless, pregnant women. It was hard but very fulfilling, I grew and I know I helped many people. I was led to work in a Catholic school with some very supportive co-workers the year that we had several family crises. It wasn't exactly being swallowed by a fish and being spat out where you belong but I still ended up going someplace I had no intention of going. If you think about it, I suspect you can find some times when God managed to get you where you belong, even though it was not your first choice. 

So I cannot rejoice as much as my neighbor about bad times bringing people closer to God, but I can and will pray and be alert to where I am being led and to say "Here I am Lord, I come to do your will."